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Purple Prose

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Her Hair Was Dancing Along With The Clouds [Feb. 20th, 2004|12:39 pm]
Purple Prose


While searching for bad fanfiction at RadNet, a Daniel Radcliffe fansite featuring both Harry Potter and Daniel Radcliffe fanfics, I discovered a story written in the purplest prose I have ever seen. The author must have been using a thesaurus, replacing each short and simple word with a longer and more "poetic" one. A part of the story is even written in a purple font.

Story Title: Crossing the Ocean
Author name: fuzzykermit
Fandom: Daniel Radcliffe

The Setup: the main character, Lia, is Daniel Radcliffe's best friend, but she has to leave London for New York and "say farewell" to Daniel.

“We will meet again, Lia,” he said, and could not conclude the fact that his own tears were beginning to fall as well. He brushed them away sharply and looked into the hazel orbs that belonged to the girl in front of him.
The sky was now filled with many clouds of all shapes and sizes, and they danced with such grace to bring as much glee into the atmosphere; however it was nothing more than a minor fix.
“I’ll miss you Daniel,” said Lia. Her hair was dancing along with the clouds, and her perpetual auburn colour shined with pride. “I’ll miss you so much,” she concluded her sentence, but was hastily trying hard to not show that her voice was beginning to crack from her crying.
Daniel hated visualizing his best friend in distress, and he took out the infuriation and pain of her departure to her new home as he took her in his arms with no guidance, and kissed her brightly on the lips. It was clear that the happiness was now present, and the perilous exasperation was leaving not quickly, but gradually.
It was merely about three months that the friendship had to part, however in the heavens of the world and beyond; kindred spirits were beginning to work their necromantic charms to the land. These charms were unique, and could no longer cut the delightful work of love. All perilous expectations were far across towards the unknown heavens, left to free fall into the depths of reincarnation to become a new spirit. The new spirits were to bring perpetual luck into love.
A feeble and old fortune teller had beckoned for me to understand love’s concept, only the true kind resided in my own spirit. I wasn’t to be harmed, I was told--but I however regretted that I had left the beautiful city of London to start a new life along with my parents in New York City. I also had to say farewell to my best friend, Daniel. I could still remember happiness gradually floating into the atmosphere when he kissed me goodbye.
The stars began to dance throughout the illuminated sky, singing happily and shined with much pride. It was now night, and I had concluded my crying fits, however I was still feeling blue that Daniel and I would probably, or even never see each other once more. I did skeptically believe that somehow the old fortune teller was true. Perhaps I was the distinguished one who could find perpetual love from the kindred spirits of the heavens.
But I could barely comprehend the fact that the wonderful spirits had their eyes on me. Why must I be the distinct subject who would find eternal love? I had put many questions aside, large amounts that would lay in the soul of my journal.

[User Picture]From: albakerky
2005-06-19 10:02 pm (UTC)
What exactly are "necromantic charms"?

Sound distinctly dodgy to me...
(Reply) (Thread)
From: kag_kins
2005-07-15 06:17 am (UTC)
Well, a necromancer raises the dead, so... charms to raise the dead? Or, more fittingly, charms that enrage even the dead with the purple-ness.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: albakerky
2005-07-15 11:58 am (UTC)
Indeed. Both highly suspect...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)